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Submitted on
November 20, 2013
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Skyrim - Reading Material by TomPreston Skyrim - Reading Material by TomPreston
I found some reading material for the lonely Skyrim inhabitant in my searches...

Act VII, Scene II, Continued

Lifts-Her-Tail - My goodness, that's quite a loaf! But how ever shall it fit my oven?
Crantius Colto - This loaf isn't ready for baking, my sweet. It has yet to rise.
Lifts-Her-Tail - If only we could hurry that along. How would I accomplish such a task?
Crantius Colto - Oh, my foolish little Argonian maid, you must use your hands.
Lifts-Her-Tail - You wish me to knead the loaf? Here?
Crantius Colto - Of course.
Lifts-Her-Tail - But what if the mistress catches me? Your loaf was meant to satisfy her appetite.
Crantius Colto - Don't fret, my delicate flower. I'll satisfy the mistress's cravings later.
Lifts-Her-Tail - Very well, but I'm afraid my oven isn't hot enough. It could take hours!
Crantius Colto - Plenty of time, my sweet. Plenty of time.
End of Act VII, Scene II

Skyrim - Wabba Wabba by TomPreston Skyrim - Kindling by TomPreston
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godzilladragon111 Featured By Owner 3 days ago  New member
you havent seen the prostitute book in skyrim have you? its somehere around skyrim...
Persona22 Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2014
Well, it's a little known fact that ancient civilizations are filled with porn.

Ancient Egypt, porn. The Greeks, porn. The Roman Republic and Empire? So. Much. Porn.
Like this ancient scroll found in Egypt, thousands upon thousands of years old, and it's just ancient porn art:…
HaNKmillenium Featured By Owner Jul 25, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Funny story: When I first found that book, I threw it off a cliff, used what little math I know well to track down the book and pick it back up, and burned it at a nearby inn... I like to imagine my character having various insecurities. Not to mention a severe case of kleptomania, insectophobia, and having been cursed to forever have his horses die on account of his reckless driving after unknowingly insulting a witch.
TigerEstoque Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Dat comment xDDDD
Well yeah I try to be a nice guy with one and a total psychopath with the other chara. Funny how both annoyed me after some time because the game is so plaine with interaction :/
You should read The Real Barenziah 2 on Imperial library. They have the uncut version...
Subject--Delta Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
i read ever book on the argonian maid except 4 of em i cant find.
4TheOneWithoutAName Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2014
That's because there are only 3 books... 
Subject--Delta Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
well i meant the 3rd. lol.
DracoTitan17 Featured By Owner Jul 7, 2014  New member
he he i know what shes reading
ThePrankingPony Featured By Owner Jul 1, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Argonian Maid...
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